i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
