"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
