my sisters under your porch take her home
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
