trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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