i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
