You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
