she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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