Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
