Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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