Christians are straight up FREAKS
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
