he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Randomize
