My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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