I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize