Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
