I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
