dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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