it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
