my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
