God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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