she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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