first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
did i just pee glitter
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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