i already hear my dad disowning me
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize