DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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