there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
