Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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