I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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