break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize