remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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