i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
