Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
