Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think your dad took our porno
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
