Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
