He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize