i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
