i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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