That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
