Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
