After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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