I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
