I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
