maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize