I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
