once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
