Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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