I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
