Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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