i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
