had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
