even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
