This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
