I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
