I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
