Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
