do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
