he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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