just tell him i said nine months
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
