he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I don't deserve a penis
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
