Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
