Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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