They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
