the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
