you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
