Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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