That's intense
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I would ride that face into the sunset
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
